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Debi Shaw May 6, 2012
I stumbled onto your devotional book "Blessings", and than read a little bit about a song by the same name. So when I heard it I was blown away, the verse about "what if trials of this life, the rain the storm, the hardest life? Are your mercies in disguise? And especially the words "what if your healing comes through tear? The past 5/6 years of my family's life has been very difficult. First we found out the neighbor boy (12 yr. old) had been molesting our daughter for 2 years, she was 4 and 5 at the time. Than he started stalking her after we found out about it and threatened to kill her. Our counselor advised us to move as far away as our finances could stretch and my husband still keep his job. After we moved, the rental house we lived in we discovered 2 rooms in the basement that were mold from floor to ceiling. We all became very ill. Than we moved to another smaller town, I had just started to calm down from all the stress, and we had a house fire in July of 2008, we had no insurance, we thought we had renter's insurance and found out we had none. So here we sat, we had to literally start over from scratch, very little was salvageable. The love and help we received from various people was awesome. We also had a few other very very stressful situations, that would take too long to explain the road of pain and where we walked. But the 1st year after the fire, I volunteered at a resale shop our church uses to support our christian high school, and I was asked to cashier, during the 1st year and a half after the fire, I was so so broken, I never ceased praying, I prayed from the time my feet hit the floor in the morning until I went to bed. The Lord used me in ways I never thought possible. Someone would come into the resale shop where I volunteered and time after time, the Lord used me as a vessel, to convey to someone who needed a word of comfort, confirmation from the Lord, or healing words, I never knew when or how, all I know is that while I felt so broken, it drove me to my knees and your exactly right, there is an intimacy that can come through suffering, that makes us seek our creator on a different playing field. So all I was consumed with was being grateful the Lord spared my husband and children (we have 9 children and 6 were at home in the house the morning of the fire). We lost 3 dogs, and I had some very broken children as well. What I learned was that through "my suffering" the Lord used me in ways I had no prior knowledge of how to handle. The Lord was so good, he spared the most important "things" in my life my husband and children, if I had lost any of my kids, it would have been too much of a cross to bear. The Lord tells us in his word that he will never push us beyond our breaking point. During this time my husband and I grew apart, we were walking down 2 different paths and we were each dealing with the stress in our own way. Many couples would have thrown in the towel, percentages of divorce are very high when couples face huge life changing events. We continued to grow apart, I was ready to throw in the towel, I was tired of being hurt and misunderstood. Every time I started to walk away from my husband, the Lord steered me back on course. Our pastor started counseling us, we attended a seminar for married or engaged couples called "A Weekend to Remember", that was in 2009, it helped but so so much had changed in each of us that I lost sight of hope. Now when I met my husband I felt that the Lord had designed my husband just for me. My husband is a man of faith, he is the most compassionate man I have ever met. We just seemed to take 2 steps forward and 4 back, I truly wanted out, I was tired of arguing of hurting and being a source of hurt to my husband. I stayed the course, even with "no hope" of truly reconciling with him. I suffered severe depression as a result of our relationship. This is the note I emailed to my husband, after I heard your song.
Our sojourn has been so so long, our healing has come through tears, let's
not waste another moment assuming the worst of each other, let's spend our time, doing what
the Lord so wants us to do, he gave over his son so that we might be free, he gave us his best,
we aren't giving the Lord our best, when we argue, we destroy the roots of our tree with pain, confusion
and strife ruin the fiber of the covenant that Lord states when he compares the joining of a man and
a women in marriage to Jesus being the bride groom and the church is his bride, Jesus gives himself
up for his bride the church. So by the words "gives himself up" I take it to mean, I am to "give myself
up, and give you what is rightly and justly yours" I am to give myself up to you, trust you, honor and respect,
you, and as with all things in balance, the Lord expects the same from you, to give oneself up has to
be the most sacred and scary of all things. I know that I know that I know, from here forward, I have no
reason to hide from you anymore, you are the husband of my youth, the father to my children, you are
my lover, and now I am asking for you, my Husband, my Beloved to be my Best Friend again, we've been
away from each other too long. I love everything about you, I have no grievance's, I have no quarrels, I
have nothing to bring to the foot of the cross to complain to Jesus, You and you alone are my hiding
place, there is no where else in this world I want to be right now, other than with you.+
I also shared a link to your song on youtube with my husband and pulled down the lyrics, so he knew where I was coming from.
Our recovery has been amazing, if I hadn't of suffered so, I would never know the greatest gift that the Lord would give me back my husband and improve our relationship in ways I never dreamed possible. I opened my heart and felt the Lord was telling me to lean on him and not on my own understanding. I was able to tell my husband where my heart has been, where it was, and that his heart was where I wanted to be.
I was scared to share much with my husband for fear of yet another "misunderstood" and open myself up to more heartache. Because of your song, I was able to put my pain and healing and understanding into words my husband understood, and continues to understand.
The tender mercies of the Lord, are so sweet, he has shown me there is strength by admitting and owning my weak state, I long to be with my savior and what your song made me think of was Chapter 13, 1st Corinthians, Love is patient, love is kind........and now I only see as a poor reflection in the mirror, when perfection comes, I will Know as fully as I am already known. Many things will pass away but love will endure.
I believe "perfection" means that when we accept Jesus, this is what the Lord is talking about "when perfection comes" means that when we stop fighting with the Lord and accept perfection is Jesus and all of a sudden it turns your life around, by accepting Jesus, Jesus already knows us, but as soon as we accept whatever is going on in our lives by coming to the father by way of the son, we suddenly see ourselves as the Lord sees us, we finally know, as we have always been known to and in the Lord.
Where other things will pass away, but the greatest of these is Love. Your song was a starting over point and I know that it had to be divinely inspired,
Its a beautiful thing to be Bless people with a song that the Lord inspired. If you had never walked your path, while hundreds of other people walked their own as well, and if you had not been brought down to the level of acceptance you have come to, this song wouldn't be, its born out of a deeper, intimate knowledge that very few people are willing to acknowledge it is in understanding that the Glory of the Lord can shine through out weakest moments and that God's mercies still endure. We are all a journey, in this life, its what we do about it that makes the difference.
I can say to you what I can't say to very many people and for them to understand the concept. Thank you for Blessing all of us with your inner beauty and peace that surpasses all understanding, thank you for allowing yourself to experience the pain, beauty always comes in the mornings. The Lord made us all to work together for his glory, someday we will truly know as we are now known by our Father God. Sorry to take so long, but I felt you needed to hear what I had to say. God Bless you and your husband.
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Debi Shaw May 6, 2012
I stumbled onto your devotional book "Blessings", and than read a little bit about a song by the same name. So when I heard it I was blown away, the verse about "what if trials of this life, the rain the storm, the hardest life? Are your mercies in disguise? And especially the words "what if your healing comes through tear? The past 5/6 years of my family's life has been very difficult. First we found out the neighbor boy (12 yr. old) had been molesting our daughter for 2 years, she was 4 and 5 at the time. Than he started stalking her after we found out about it and threatened to kill her. Our counselor advised us to move as far away as our finances could stretch and my husband still keep his job. After we moved, the rental house we lived in we discovered 2 rooms in the basement that were mold from floor to ceiling. We all became very ill. Than we moved to another smaller town, I had just started to calm down from all the stress, and we had a house fire in July of 2008, we had no insurance, we thought we had renter's insurance and found out we had none. So here we sat, we had to literally start over from scratch, very little was salvageable. The love and help we received from various people was awesome. We also had a few other very very stressful situations, that would take too long to explain the road of pain and where we walked. But the 1st year after the fire, I volunteered at a resale shop our church uses to support our christian high school, and I was asked to cashier, during the 1st year and a half after the fire, I was so so broken, I never ceased praying, I prayed from the time my feet hit the floor in the morning until I went to bed. The Lord used me in ways I never thought possible. Someone would come into the resale shop where I volunteered and time after time, the Lord used me as a vessel, to convey to someone who needed a word of comfort, confirmation from the Lord, or healing words, I never knew when or how, all I know is that while I felt so broken, it drove me to my knees and your exactly right, there is an intimacy that can come through suffering, that makes us seek our creator on a different playing field. So all I was consumed with was being grateful the Lord spared my husband and children (we have 9 children and 6 were at home in the house the morning of the fire). We lost 3 dogs, and I had some very broken children as well. What I learned was that through "my suffering" the Lord used me in ways I had no prior knowledge of how to handle. The Lord was so good, he spared the most important "things" in my life my husband and children, if I had lost any of my kids, it would have been too much of a cross to bear. The Lord tells us in his word that he will never push us beyond our breaking point. During this time my husband and I grew apart, we were walking down 2 different paths and we were each dealing with the stress in our own way. Many couples would have thrown in the towel, percentages of divorce are very high when couples face huge life changing events. We continued to grow apart, I was ready to throw in the towel, I was tired of being hurt and misunderstood. Every time I started to walk away from my husband, the Lord steered me back on course. Our pastor started counseling us, we attended a seminar for married or engaged couples called "A Weekend to Remember", that was in 2009, it helped but so so much had changed in each of us that I lost sight of hope. Now when I met my husband I felt that the Lord had designed my husband just for me. My husband is a man of faith, he is the most compassionate man I have ever met. We just seemed to take 2 steps forward and 4 back, I truly wanted out, I was tired of arguing of hurting and being a source of hurt to my husband. I stayed the course, even with "no hope" of truly reconciling with him. I suffered severe depression as a result of our relationship. This is the note I emailed to my husband, after I heard your song.
Our sojourn has been so so long, our healing has come through tears, let's
not waste another moment assuming the worst of each other, let's spend our time, doing what
the Lord so wants us to do, he gave over his son so that we might be free, he gave us his best,
we aren't giving the Lord our best, when we argue, we destroy the roots of our tree with pain, confusion
and strife ruin the fiber of the covenant that Lord states when he compares the joining of a man and
a women in marriage to Jesus being the bride groom and the church is his bride, Jesus gives himself
up for his bride the church. So by the words "gives himself up" I take it to mean, I am to "give myself
up, and give you what is rightly and justly yours" I am to give myself up to you, trust you, honor and respect,
you, and as with all things in balance, the Lord expects the same from you, to give oneself up has to
be the most sacred and scary of all things. I know that I know that I know, from here forward, I have no
reason to hide from you anymore, you are the husband of my youth, the father to my children, you are
my lover, and now I am asking for you, my Husband, my Beloved to be my Best Friend again, we've been
away from each other too long. I love everything about you, I have no grievance's, I have no quarrels, I
have nothing to bring to the foot of the cross to complain to Jesus, You and you alone are my hiding
place, there is no where else in this world I want to be right now, other than with you.+
I also shared a link to your song on youtube with my husband and pulled down the lyrics, so he knew where I was coming from.
Our recovery has been amazing, if I hadn't of suffered so, I would never know the greatest gift that the Lord would give me back my husband and improve our relationship in ways I never dreamed possible. I opened my heart and felt the Lord was telling me to lean on him and not on my own understanding. I was able to tell my husband where my heart has been, where it was, and that his heart was where I wanted to be.
I was scared to share much with my husband for fear of yet another "misunderstood" and open myself up to more heartache. Because of your song, I was able to put my pain and healing and understanding into words my husband understood, and continues to understand.
The tender mercies of the Lord, are so sweet, he has shown me there is strength by admitting and owning my weak state, I long to be with my savior and what your song made me think of was Chapter 13, 1st Corinthians, Love is patient, love is kind........and now I only see as a poor reflection in the mirror, when perfection comes, I will Know as fully as I am already known. Many things will pass away but love will endure.
I believe "perfection" means that when we accept Jesus, this is what the Lord is talking about "when perfection comes" means that when we stop fighting with the Lord and accept perfection is Jesus and all of a sudden it turns your life around, by accepting Jesus, Jesus already knows us, but as soon as we accept whatever is going on in our lives by coming to the father by way of the son, we suddenly see ourselves as the Lord sees us, we finally know, as we have always been known to and in the Lord.
Where other things will pass away, but the greatest of these is Love. Your song was a starting over point and I know that it had to be divinely inspired,
Its a beautiful thing to be Bless people with a song that the Lord inspired. If you had never walked your path, while hundreds of other people walked their own as well, and if you had not been brought down to the level of acceptance you have come to, this song wouldn't be, its born out of a deeper, intimate knowledge that very few people are willing to acknowledge it is in understanding that the Glory of the Lord can shine through out weakest moments and that God's mercies still endure. We are all a journey, in this life, its what we do about it that makes the difference.
I can say to you what I can't say to very many people and for them to understand the concept. Thank you for Blessing all of us with your inner beauty and peace that surpasses all understanding, thank you for allowing yourself to experience the pain, beauty always comes in the mornings. The Lord made us all to work together for his glory, someday we will truly know as we are now known by our Father God. Sorry to take so long, but I felt you needed to hear what I had to say. God Bless you and your husband. |